


tony stark is actually an alien spy sent to infiltrate earth

by thecryptictaxi



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Endgame what Endgame, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Secret Identity, Slow Burn, Social Media, Twitter, welcome to the mess that is my brain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29840430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecryptictaxi/pseuds/thecryptictaxi
Summary: potato man@potatomanthis is a thor stan account first, conspiracytheory account second.📍 thor's bed69 following      289.2K followersi crave death@harleykeenertony stark broke into my garage when i was10, that's why i'm like this📍 MIT420 following     1008 followers[in which harley keener runs an avengers conspiracy theory twitter account. chaos ensues. i'm sorry for releasing yet another twitter fic on this site, but i just couldn't help myself.]
Relationships: Harley Keener & Tony Stark, Harley Keener/Peter Parker
Comments: 75
Kudos: 259





	1. introduction

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [gotham : a conspiracy thread](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18772483) by [noahfense](https://archiveofourown.org/users/noahfense/pseuds/noahfense). 



**potato man**  
@potatoman

this is a thor stan account first, conspiracy  
theory account second.

📍 thor's bed

69 following 289.2K followers

**i crave death**  
@harleykeener

tony stark broke into my garage when i was  
10, that's why i'm like this

📍 MIT

420 following 1008 followers

* * *

**spideyy ✔️**  
@spiderman

just your friendly neighborhood spider-man :)

📍nyc

100 following 2M followers

**peter**  
@peterparkour

he/him | 17 | byeseksual | midtown | definitely  
not spider-man

729 following 188 followers

* * *

**mj**  
@cryptidalien

📍nyc

95 following 61 followers

* * *

**Ned Leeds**  
@guyinthechair

My singular greatest achievement is hacking  
Stark tech.

📍He/him

934 following 121 followers

* * *

**Tony Stark ✔️**  
@ironman

You know who I am.

📍New York

40 following 51.5M followers

* * *

**Pepper Potts ✔️**  
@PepperPotts

CEO of Stark Industries  
Join in on the movement for clean energy:

🔗 www.cleanenergy.co

249 following 1.6M followers

* * *

**Natasha Romanoff**  
@natasharomanoff

Avenger, SHIELD agent, ex-Russian assassin.  
Stop asking me to get verified, I only got  
Twitter because Coulson told me I needed to  
maintain a good public image.

77 following 10.5M followers

* * *

**Birb guy ✔️**  
@hawkeye

I'm basically gender bent Katniss

766 following 8M followers

* * *

**Captain America 🇺🇸 ✔️**  
@CaptainAmerica

Sign the petition to get the stupid orange  
man out of office

📍USA 🔗 change.org/trump...

51 following 59.3M followers

* * *

**Thor ✔️**  
@thor

Sponsored by Pop-Tarts.

📍Asgard 🔗 poptarts.com

22 following 40.9M followers

* * *

**Bruce ✔️**  
@DrBanner

Robert Bruce Banner, M.D., Ph.D., scientist  
and Avenger.

📍NYC

129 following 7.3M followers

* * *

**wanda ✔️**  
@scarletwitch

i'm dead inside ha

📍hell

309 following 2M followers

* * *

**Vision ✔️**  
@vision

Robot love child of Tony Stark, Thor, and  
and Bruce Banner.

100 following 2.8M followers

* * *

**T'Challa ✔️**  
@tchalla

King of Wakanda.

📍Wakanda

204 following 16M followers

* * *

**sHuRi ✔️**  
@shuri

i have more followers than my brother

899 following 22.2M followers

* * *

**bucket**  
@bucketbarnes

why can't a man just eat his goddamn  
plums in peace

🔗 send-falcon-to-guatanamo-bay.com...

58 following 3.3M followers

* * *

**Sam Wilson ✔️**  
@Falcon

War veteran, Avenger, anti-Bucky activist

📍NYC

464 following 5M followers

* * *

**Scott ✔️**  
@antman

World's greatest grandma

📍He/Him

230 following 2.1M followers

* * *

**Luis**  
@igotthevan

My best friend is Ant-man!

887 following 599 followers

* * *

**James Rhodes ✔️**  
@WarMachine

Tony Stark's only impulse control

📍NY

118 following 6M followers

* * *

**Jimmy Woo**  
@jimmyewoo

Want to see a card trick?

230 following 221 followers

* * *

**Carol**  
@caroldanverss

Captain Marvel

📍Outer Space

30 following 140 followers

* * *

**Jane ✔️**  
@drfoster

World's leading astrophysicist

📍London

327 following 612K followers

* * *

**darcyyyyy**  
@darcylewis

i ran over thor once. i also tazed him.

988 following 89.9K followers

* * *

**Loki**  
@loki

In my defense, I was under mind control

📍stabbing thor

67 following 979.2K followers 

* * *

**Heimdall**  
@Heimdall

I know all.

📍Asgard

3 following 123.7K followers

* * *

**deadpool**  
@deadpool

i also know all

📍spilling the blood of my enemies

304 following 774.9K followers

* * *

**The Avengers ✔️**  
@avengers

Earth's Mightiest Heroes

📍New York City

200 following 50M followers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gotham : a conspiracy thread is one of my all time favorite dc fanfictions and i wanted to try my hand at a marvel version. please go read g:act as well, you won't regret it.
> 
> also the timeline is super wonky so let me try to sort that out for you:
> 
> \- this is post-infinity war, maybe a year after?  
> \- fury called carol in earlier so that's how they won  
> \- she's fairly new and not public knowledge so that's why she only has 140 followers rn  
> \- bucky & loki have been redeemed off screen  
> \- obviously wandavision is no longer possible :(  
> \- jimmy is still around though, no explanation for that  
> \- harley graduated early so he's like 18 in his last year at mit  
> \- peter is 16/17ish idk he's in hs though  
> \- not that he's not smart but he wants to graduate normally yaknow


	2. spider-man exposed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for plot convenience i'm going to say ffh did happen (obviously not exactly like the movie because tony is alive and stuff), but it happened right after infinity war. also his identity was never leaked by mysterio.

**potato man**  
@potatoman

this is a thor stan account first, conspiracy  
theory account second.

📍 thor's bed

69 following 289.2K followers

* * *

**potato man** @potatoman

my sources tell me thor is back on earth  
and at the avengers compound

4:28 AM • 11/12/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

840 Retweets 27 Quote Tweets 7,901 Likes

**grace** @lesbiandove • 11/12/18  
Replying to @potatoman

wait omg actually?

**thor's wife** @feliciaazzz • 11/12/18  
Replying to @potatoman

my favorite account doing the lord's work  
(as always)

**spideyy ✔️** @spiderman • 11/12/18  
Replying to @potatoman

@thor @ironman so were you guys just not  
going to tell me or was i supposed to find out  
from a random guy on twitter?? why does he   
know more than me

**martyna** @martynabitch • 11/12/18  
Replying to @spiderman

holy shit it's spider-man

**Tony Stark ✔️** @ironman • 11/12/18  
Replying to @spiderman

Kid, it's 4 am. I was going to tell you in the  
morning. Get some sleep.

**Tony Stark ✔️** @ironman • 11/12/18  
Replying to @spiderman

Speaking of, how _does_ this guy know about Thor?  
He literally got here two hours ago

**martyna** @martynabitch • 11/12/18  
Replying to @ironman

holy shit it's ironman

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/12/18  
Replying to @ironman

wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?

* * *

**potato man** @potatoman 

in honor of spider-man replying to my  
tweet, i'm going to expose him because  
i'm a bitch. anything for fame, amiright?

2:10 PM • 11/9/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

4,281 Retweets 175 Quote Tweets 10,879 Likes

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

*dramatic pause*  
spider-man is a high schooler

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

i have a lot of evidence to back this up,  
actually. first of all, his twitter has gen  
z written all over it. that's anywhere  
between middle school to college.  
but why high school specifically? 

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

well, we can definitely rule out middle  
school, no explanation needed. but the  
reason i think he's in high school is  
because i know where exactly he attends

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

now, spider-man is strictly a queens guy.  
but y'all remember that time he showed  
up in dc? at first i thought it was a  
coincidence, maybe he was on a trip or  
something

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

but then the knock off spider-man was in  
europe, too. and i'm not fooled by him,  
that was just spider-man in a different  
costume. awful lot of travelling for a  
college student, am i right? when would  
he have the time or the money?

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

so i came to the conclusion that he must  
have been at those places via field trip.  
i did some digging, and compiled a list of  
field trips every high school in queens  
went to. it wasn't hard, there's only like  
120 high schools there and i have a  
cross-referencing computer program

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

anyway there's only one school that  
went to dc & europe at the same times  
as the spider-man appearances and i'm  
betting my life that spider-man goes  
there

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

to all of you guys asking me to tell you  
the name: bruh i'm not going to tell any  
of you, i don't want the avengers to  
show up at my dorm and murder me  
in my sleep

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

now that i think about it they might  
kill me with or without the school  
name. pray for me.

**maya** @_its.peaches_ • 11/9/18  
Replying to potatoman

PLEASE I'M CRYING YOU RLY JUST  
EXPOSED SPIDERMAN LIKE THAT  
AKJDJSLSKDLS

**Brandon** @brandonjj • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

Spider-man is is high school???? Oh  
my god no way

**Flash** @FlashThompsonOfficial • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

OH MY GOD I THINK SPIDER-MAN  
GOES TO MY SCHOOL

**Cinnamon** @Cinnnnamongirl • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

Spider-man literally made you famous  
and you're just going to reveal his  
identity like that? You don't  
deserve your fame :(

**martyna** @martynabitch • 11/12/18  
Replying to @potatoman

spidey rn: *chuckles* i'm in dangerr

**Ned Leeds** @guyinthechair • 11/9/18  
Replying to @potatoman

Peter! @peterparkour

**peter** @peterparkour • 11/9/18  
Replying to @guyinthechair

shit.

* * *

"Peter, what is this about your identity being leaked to the world?" Tony Stark said, raising an eyebrow.

They were at the Avengers compound, in the R&D lab. Bruce was also there, humming to himself as he looked through a microscope, and mostly ignoring Peter and Tony's conversation. 

Peter bit his lip nervously. "Uh... technically only one person knows?"

"This is going to be a nightmare to clean up," Tony shook his head. "What exactly happened?"

"You know the guy who tweeted about Thor being back?"

"Mhmm."

"He thought it was weird that Spider-Man showed up at both D.C. and Europe when I'm supposed to be in Queens, so he did some research or something and he found out that Midtown went on a field trip to both of those places and he tweeted about," Peter said sheepishly. "Oh, he didn't say I went to Midtown though," he added. "That's good, right?"

"We have very different ideas about what's 'good,'" Tony said. "I need to have a chat with this guy. What's his Twitter handle again?"

"Potatoman."

"Potatoman?"

"Potatoman."

"Alright. I'll get on that after you go home. Are you staying for dinner? I think Clint's coming by with lasagna."

"Hmm... Is Thor going to be there?"

* * *

**lauren mcgrath** @laurenmcgrath

@potatoman just checking up on you,  
you still alive? or did the avengers  
commit *knife noises*?

11:59 AM • 11/13/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

99 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 391 Likes

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/13/18  
Reply to @laurenmcgrath

yes

**lauren mcgrath** @laurenmcgrath • 11/13/18  
Reply to @potatoman

yes to which one?

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/13/18  
Reply to @laurenmcgrath

yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/inner-egg-pong)


	3. who even is this kid, anyway?

**potato man**  
@potatoman 

this is a thor stan account first, conspiracy  
theory account second. 

📍 thor's bed

69 following 300K followers

* * *

**potato man** @potatoman

300k followers sklskdjfal

5:11 PM • 11/14/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

90 retweets 15 Quote Tweets 239 Likes

**potato man** @potatoman

okay okay okay y'all, this is a very special day,  
with lots of new followers, so this time i'm going  
to expose iron man aka tony stark aka an alien

5:19 PM • 11/14/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

895 retweets 165 Quote Tweets 1,434 Likes

**iron woman** @jennnn5 • 11/14/18  
Replying to @potatoman

shit i'm so excited

**Tony Stark** ✔️ @ironman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @potatoman

What the hell.

**iron woman** @jennnn5 • 11/14/18  
Replying to @ironman

omg

**Tony Stark** ✔️ @ironman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @potatoman

Who even is this kid, anyway?

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @ironman

i'm potato man.

**Tony Stark** ✔️ @ironman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @potatoman

Why are there like fifty million extra firewalls  
around your twitter account?

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @ironman

did you try to _hack_ me? sir that's illegal

**Tony Stark** ✔️ @ironman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @potatoman

I'm Tony Stark.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @ironman

i—  
okay then old man, keep trying

**Tony Stark** ✔️ @ironman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @potatoman

Did you just call me old??

**lauren mcgrath** @laurenmcgrath  
Replying to @ironman

ohh shit things are getting heated in the  
potato man fandom @_its.peaches_ come  
look at this

**maya** @_its.peaches_

aksjdflsaskl oh my god

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @ironman

yeah, what are you going to do about it?  
i think you're just scared i'm going to  
expose you for what you really are:  
an alien.

**Tony Stark** ✔️ @ironman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @potatoman

I am literally not an alien

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @ironman

can't fool me, tony, can't fool me.

* * *

**spideyy** ✔️ @spiderman

look, if you really want to rob a bank, go  
right ahead. just please refrain from doing  
so while i'm trying to marathon star wars  
with my friend. please and thank you.

9:45 PM • 11/14/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

1,017 Retweets 157 Quote Tweets 29K Likes

**rhiannon** @rhiconstantine • 11/14/18  
Replying to @spiderman

he likes star wars? taste.

**Pepper Potts** ✔️ @PepperPotts • 11/14/18  
Replying to @spiderman

Spider-Man, please stop encouraging bank  
robbery. It's not good for our public image.

**spideyy** ✔️ @spiderman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @PepperPotts

sorry ms potts

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @PepperPotts

actually i think most of us would agree  
that spider-man encouraging bank robbers  
is absolute legend behavior

**spideyy** ✔️ @spiderman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @potatoman

omg thank you potato man! i knew you  
would appreciate my tweets

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @spiderman

you're welcome :)

**spideyy** ✔️ @spiderman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @potatoman

:)

**Tony Stark** ✔️ @ironman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @spiderman

Kid, this guy literally leaked your information,  
why are you buddying up with him?

**spideyy** ✔️ @spiderman • 11/14/18  
Replying to @ironman

icons have to stick together, mr. stark, icons  
have to stick together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a shorter one, but i hope you enjoy nonetheless!


	4. oh my god mr. stark is an alien!

**sHuRi** ✔️ **  
**@shuri

i have more followers than my brother

899 following 22.2M followers

* * *

**sHuRi** ✔️ @shuri

@potatoman we are all still waiting on  
that tony stark is an alien theory

4:34 PM • 11/15/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

37.8K Retweets 11.2K Quote Tweets 357K Likes

**Riley Hughes** @RileyIsHuge • 11/15/18  
Replying to @shuri

Oh my god the princess of Wakanda is a  
Potato Man fan

**lauren mcgrath** @laurenmcgrath • 11/15/18  
Replying to @shuri

potato man fans = sexy  
princess shuri = potato man fan  
princess shuri = (respectfully) sexy  
we stan a sexy princess

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @shuri

alsdkjflksadjflsa yes ma'am i will get on that  
right now miss ma'am princess shuri your royal  
highness most highly esteemed engineer

**martyna** @martynabitch • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

HAHAHAHSKLDFSK POTATO MAN I LOVE YOU  
BUT YOU REALLY GOTTA WORK ON THAT

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @martynabitch

SHUT UP MARTYNA I'M TRYING MY BEST

**wanda ✔️** @scarletwitch • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

you'd better post it quick before tony buys  
twitter or something to stop you from  
exposing him

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @scarletwitch

wanda motherfucking maximoff knows i exist,  
i can die happy now

**sHuRi** **✔️** @shuri • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

don't die we need to know the truth about stark

* * *

**potato man** @potatoman

as per the request of princess shuri and  
scarlet witch, here is tony stark is actually  
an alien spy sent to infiltrate earth: a  
conspiracy thread

4:55 PM • 11/15/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

2,978 Retweets 999 Quote Tweets 15K Likes

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

it all started on december 16th, 1991. on that  
day, tony stark's parents died in a "car crash."  
however, a few years ago, we learned that  
howard and maria stark were actually  
assassinated by the winter soldier (a product  
of hydra).

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

tony stark was only 21 years old when this  
happened. after their funeral, he dropped off  
the face of the earth. no one saw him for at  
least a year. and only a few months after the  
tragic affair, his butler, whom he was very  
close to, died of a "heart attack."

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

here's what really happened. bucky barnes has  
stated that hydra wanted to assassinate the  
starks to get their hands on the replicated  
super soldier serum, but i call bullshit.  
because of the treatment barnes went  
through, we can rule out the validity of  
his statements.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

now, barnes was kept in cryofreeze for  
most of his time in hydra. it's unlikely  
that hydra would take him out just to  
assassinate the starks when they could  
have just easily stolen the serum. the  
assassination was a cover up.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

the real target was not howard and maria  
stark, but rather, tony himself. sure the  
winter soldier did his job well, but hydra  
needed an inside man, and tony was a  
perfect candidate.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

following the death of howard stark, he  
would inherit money and stark industries.  
what's even better was that the public  
was not well acquainted with tony. he was  
just howard's son back then. with that  
money and position of power, hydra could  
prosper.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

and so, they replaced the real tony stark  
with an alien clone.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

when natasha romanoff (the black widow),  
released hydra's secrets to the public, there  
was a file containing information about the  
extra terrestrials in their possession. it has  
since been redacted, but i have an extra  
copy of it right here.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

as you can see, in 1989, they came across a  
shape shifting alien. that, paired with the  
memory alterations and mind control that  
we've seen performed on the winter soldier,  
they could have easily made a copy of tony  
stark.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

but even if the alien was a perfect clone with  
the same physical appearances and memories,  
there were bound to be people who noticed  
something off about him. so, they waited until  
his closest and only friend, james rhodey,  
enlisted, then killed edwin jarivs, tony's butler.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

then, they kidnapped tony stark, transferred his  
memories into the alien, and released him into  
human society as tony stark.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

now, with "tony stark" in charge of stark  
industries and the inheritance, hydra had  
complete control over the weapons trade.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

of course, hydra is gone now, so we can  
only assume 1) alien tony stark broke free  
of the mind control 2) he is still following  
pre-programmed hydra orders or 3) he  
genuinely has no idea that he's a clone

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

here's some more proof of my theory. in  
the hydra files, there was one labeled "ts  
project." who's name has the initials ts?  
taylor swift. but also tony stark. although  
it wouldn't surprise me if she was a product  
of hydra, her music is beyond natural human  
ability.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

but anyway yeah the ts file sus, it was redacted  
even before it was released, which can only  
mean it is Very Important. the very few words  
we can make out are "clone" and "memory."  
see for yourself here.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

now here are some problems i encountered  
while researching all of this. tony stark  
quit making weapons. why would hydra just  
give up on the weapons trade? well, it was so  
they could have control over the avengers.  
who needs weapons when you can have  
superheroes?

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

remember when hydra infiltrated shield?  
yeah, that was phase two of their plan.  
when that didn't work, the maximoff  
twins were a last ditch attempt at  
dismantling them, because no superheros  
at all are better than superheros on the  
opposite team.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

i have more but my thumbs are tired and i  
have homework to do so if y'all want i'll  
give you the rest of the evidence tomorrow.

**spideyy** **✔️** @spiderman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @potatoman

oh my god mr. stark is an alien!

**sHuRi** **✔️** @shuri • 11/15/18  
Replying to @spiderman

i knew there was something shady about  
that man

* * *

**Sam Wilson ✔️** @Falcon

@bucketbarnes Why wouldn't you tell  
me that HYDRA had literal ALIENS in  
their possession? some friend you are.

5:26 PM • 11/15/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

6,871 Retweets 909 Quote Tweets 38.9K Likes

**bucket** @bucketbarnes  
Replying to @Falcon

i'm not your friend.

**Sam Wilson ✔️** @Falcon  
Replying to @bucketbarnes

Fuck you too

**Captain America 🇺🇸 ✔️** @CaptainAmerica  
Replying to @Falcon

Language. There are kids on this app.

* * *

**Taylor Swift** **✔️** @taylorswift13  
  


I am 99.9% sure that I am not a product  
of HYDRA but I'm flattered by the  
compliment nonetheless @potatoman

11:11 PM • 11/15/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

21.4K Retweets 4,185 Quote Tweets 269K Likes

**lauren mcgrath** @laurenmcgrath • 11/15/18  
Replying to @taylorswift13  
  
BYE TAYLOR SWIFT JUST TWEETED  
ABOUT FUCKING POTATO MAN

**best of times, worst of crimes** @jessiestaylor • 11/15/18  
Replying to @taylorswift13

this feels like a crossover episode

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/15/18  
Replying to @taylorswift13

i don't know if i should be elated that  
taylor swift saw my post or embarrassed

**spideyy** ✔️ @spiderman  
Replying to @potatoman

elated is the only correct answer.

* * *

**Tony Stark** **✔️** @ironman

Just to address the current rumors  
that are floating around Twitter:  
I am not an alien nor a clone. Thank  
you.

9:30 AM • 11/16/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

16.5K Retweets 4,505 Quote Tweets 171K Likes

**sHuRi** ✔️ @shuri • 11/16/18  
Replying to @ironman

that's exactly what an alien clone  
would say.

**T'Challa** ✔️ @tchalla • 11/16/18  
Replying to @shuri

Shuri, do not antagonize the man.

**sHuRi** ✔️ @shuri • 11/16/18  
Replying to @tchalla

ok furry

**T'Challa** ✔️ @tchalla • 11/16/18  
Replying to @shuri

Shuri!

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/16/18  
Replying to @ironman

so you have no recollection of ever being  
imprisoned and experimented on by hydra?

**Tony Stark** **✔️** @ironman • 11/16/18  
Replying to @potatoman

No.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/16/18  
Replying to @ironman

ah. option number 3 it is then. you  
genuinely have no idea that you're a  
clone because hydra erased those  
memories.

**Tony Stark** **✔️** @ironman • 11/16/18  
Replying to @potatoman

No!

* * *

**darcyyyyy** @darcylewis

wait why is #TonyStarkIsAnAlien trending   
what did i miss

11:09 AM • 11/16/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

4 Retweets 2 Quote Tweet 13 Likes

**Jane ✔️** @drfoster • 11/16/18  
Replying to @darcylewis

Read the thread on @potatoman's account

* * *

**Tony Stark ✔️** @ironman 

Okay but my parents' assassination makes  
sense. They did it because no one would notice  
the missing serums everyone was busy talking  
about how my parents died, not because  
they wanted to clone me. Also Rhodey was  
NOT my only friend back then. I had lots of  
friends.

11:18 AM • 11/16/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

9.7K Retweets 4,668 Quote Tweets 117K Likes

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/16/18  
Replying to @ironman

it was obviously two eggs in one basket, serum  
and clone (but mostly clone) type of deal

**James Rhodes ✔️** @WarMachine • 11/16/18  
Replying to @ironman

I _was_ your only friend back then, Tony.

**Tony Stark ✔️** @ironman • 11/16/18  
Replying to @WarMachine

You were not!

**Tony Stark ✔️** @ironman • 11/16/18  
Replying to @potatoman

Also, alien physiology is different. There's no  
way HYDRA did what they did to Bucky (a  
human) on an alien.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/16/18  
Replying to @ironman

so you do admit that the mind control and  
memory transfer would have taken a long  
time — hence the year long disappearance!

**Tony Stark ✔️** @ironman • 11/16/18  
Replying to @potatoman

No. Why the fuck do I even bother.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/16/18  
Replying to @ironman

don't deny your origins, tony. you're an alien.  
you don't have to be ashamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> harley, at a college party, high on cocaine or something: tony stark... is an alien clone... made by hydra  
> harley the next day, sober: high me is a fucking genius, i'm have to go troll tony now


	5. who is captain marvel: a conspiracy thread

**potato man**  
@potatoman

this is a thor stan account first, conspiracy  
theory account second.

📍 thor's bed

69 following 300K followers

* * *

"Aargh!" Tony groaned in frustration. He slammed his fist on the keyboard and looked up at the ceiling in despair.

"Tony?" Pepper asked him. "Are you okay?"

"No, goddamn it," he said. "I don't know _what_ this Potato Man guy did to his Twitter account but it's impossible to get hack into."

Pepper let out a small laugh. Tony glared at her, but the corners of his mouth twitched. "Tony, Potato Man's just a kid. Let him be."

"But Pepper," he whined. "He called me an alien clone."

"I've seen you called worse things." Pepper placed a light kiss on her husband's cheek. "I have a meeting to go to. Promise me you won't antagonize the poor kid?"

Tony grumbled and handed Pepper her coffee mug. "Have fun at the meeting."

"I doubt it," she replied dryly. 

"How is he doing this?" Tony muttered under his breath. "Is he some sort of genius? Or did he pay someone to do it?"

He turned his attention back to the screen, where he began to type furiously. The kid couldn't possibly block out both JARVIS _and_ Tony Stark himself, certified tech genius. His fingers flew over the keys, and he barely heard the creaking over his head. The vent over his head flew open and Clint jumped out next to him, and Tony let out a loud shriek. 

"What the fuck, Barton? I told you to stop doing that!"

"You talking about Potato Man? My kids love him!"

"Well I don't, and I need to find out who this guy is. Get out."

"Who is he? Can you get an autograph for Lila?"

"Go away, I'm busy."

"But—"

"Out, Barton. Out."

* * *

**potato man** @potatoman

head empty only thor being a sexy mf

5:20 PM • 11/17/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

658 retweets 299 Quote Tweets 2,291 Likes

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

sir? sir you have no business being that  
attractive like what the fuck

**langley** @trinalangley • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

i've never seen a more relatable post on  
the internet before

**spideyy** **✔️** @spiderman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

thor could hit me with his hammer so hard i  
go flying into space and i'd say thank you

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @spiderman

as you should, it would be an honor to be  
sent flying by thor.

**spideyy** **✔️** @spiderman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

his biceps oh god they're perfect

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @spiderman

thor can use me like a [redacted] and [redacted]  
my [redacted] until it [redacted] like a [redacted]  
i love him so much

**Thor ✔️** @thor • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

Why thank you, young man of potatoes.

* * *

**potato man** @potatoman

this is potato man's sister abby, he saw thor's  
reply and fainted, so i'm taking over for now

5:53 PM • 11/17/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

428 retweets 178 Quote Tweets 1,556 Likes

* * *

**potato man** @potatoman

natasha romanoff appreciation hour

5:54 PM • 11/17/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

1,581 retweets 494 Quote Tweets 8,913 Likes

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

sis is flawless

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

an absolute queen

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

and she's single too, so i have a shot

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

actually i don't because i'm a minor but i'm  
sure if she knew me irl she'd wait a couple  
of years for me

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

every single woman on the team is like the  
epitome of literal fucking goddesses

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

omg wait maybe i should do a conspiracy thread  
of my own i would love to do one about captain  
marvel

**martyna** @martynabitch • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

who's captain marvel?

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

she's the reason the avengers won against thanos!  
you haven't heard of her?

**martyna** @martynabitch • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

well i don't really make a point to hack into shield  
to dig up classified information so no

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

oh, then all the better! prepare to have your mind  
blown away

**martyna** @martynabitch • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

the fact that you didn't even try to deny the  
hacking part slkdfjlskjd

**Birb guy ✔️** @hawkeye • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

I object to that statement, we all contributed  
an equal amount to defeat thanos

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @hawkeye

mhm sure hun

* * *

**potato man** @potatoman

who is captain marvel: a conspiracy thread

6:27 PM • 11/17/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

826 retweets 374 Quote Tweets 2,547 Likes

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

so as well all know, thanos was a MAJOR threat  
to the entire universe, and the avengers almost  
lost, which makes sense seeing as thanos had  
rocks that made him ultra powerful or whatever,  
i still don't really understand how the infinity  
stones work tbh

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

and thor came in last minute with his new axe  
and went zmoop and killed a bunch of thanos's  
army and he even brought a bunch of aliens and  
a talking raccoon (can you believe that lmfao?  
a talking raccoon? apparently his name is  
rocket??? and he tried to buy bucky barnes's  
metal arm?)

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

but it still wasn't enough, and thanos snapped  
his fingers and half the population got dusted.  
y'all remember that? i actually don't because i  
got dusted but my brother saw me go poof and  
got footage of it, can you believe it? he had time  
to film and he didn't even bother saving me!  
  


**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

but anyway like an hour later we reappeared,  
and that was the work of captain marvel. thank  
you carol we owe you our lives.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

captain marvel aka carol danvers, is a human,  
but she absorbed photon energy, became mega  
powerful, and was kidnapped by aliens or  
something. we don't know exactly what happened  
because she's not very talkative but shield had   
some files about her

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

she was born in the 60's but because of her  
powers she still looks like she's thirty which is  
kinda cool. basically she crash landed on earth  
in the 90's and was found by nick fury, director  
of shield. they got up to a bunch of shenanigans  
and carol reunited with her gay lover, yada yada  
yada, then left again to protect the universe.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

nick fury is supposed to be "dead" now, but he's  
actually very much alive, and that's how carol  
knew to come back to earth to save everyone.  
so when she got the signal, she flew down  
here, beat thanos's ass, snapped us back, and  
saved all of us. what a queen.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

the internet demands proof, so here it is.  
that's a leaked video of the battle on  
wakanda, and as you can see at the end,  
captain marvel is there fighting thanos.  
there's a also an orange cat that's not  
actually a cat who contributed a lot to the  
fight, but that's a whole 'nother thread.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

there's actually a wikipedia page about carol  
danvers's life pre-powers (she was one of the first  
women in the air force). here is the shield file  
about captain marvel. it's very vague and most of  
it was redacted, but it matches up. and also this  
is an interview where maria rambeau, carol's gf,  
mentions her briefly.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

anyway the point of this thread is that captain  
marvel is a fucking badass and she deserves  
all the respect in the world. @caroldanverss  
is her twitter by the way.

**maya** @_its.peaches_ • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

lesbian ICON i love her sm and i didn't even  
know she existed until five minutes ago

**sara nuo** @saraaanuo • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

is there wifi in outer space lmao how does she  
tweet from out there

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

idk she's just built different ig

**Carol** @caroldanverss • 11/17/18  
Replying to @saraaanuo

I use an intergalactic tech connection device.  
It's basically like the equivalent to Wi-Fi. As  
long as you have a phone (or tech) that's  
compatible, you can use Twitter any time you  
want in space. It lags slightly, but it's good  
enough for me.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/17/18  
Replying to @caroldanverss

CAPTAIN MARVEL I LOVE YOU 

**Carol** @caroldanverss • 11/17/18  
Replying to @potatoman

Thanks, Abby. By the way, you were right.  
Goose isn't cat, she's a Flerken. She bit off  
Thanos's hand and swallowed the gauntlet  
whilst I was fighting him.

**rhiannon** @rhiconstantine • 11/17/18  
Replying to @caroldanverss

oh my god captain marvel is so cool literally  
just marry me already

**lauren mcgrath** @laurenmgrath • 11/17/18  
Replying to @caroldanverss

what an excellent day to love women

* * *

**Sam Wilson ✔️** @Falcon

Nick Fury is WHAT?

7:56 PM • 11/17/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

464 retweets 274 Quote Tweets 2,935 Likes

* * *

**Ned Leeds** @guyinthechair

So to recap everything that has happened  
in the past few days: Tony Stark is an alien,  
Potato Man is thirsty for Thor, he also has a  
sister named Abby, Abby is gay for powerful,  
kickass women, and Captain Marvel has an  
alien cat that can eat people. did i get it all?

9:31 PM • 11/17/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

11 retweets 3 Quote Tweets 20 Likes

**mj** @cryptidalien • 11/17/18  
Replying to @guyinthechair

don't forget the fact that nick fury is alive.  
this must be a pr nightmare for shield.

* * *

**potato man** @potatoman

i'm back bitches. please ignore everything  
my sister said, she's an idiot.

10:49 AM • 11/17/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

528 retweets 184 Quote Tweets 1,881 Likes

* * *

**Julia Jade** @juliajadek

@potatoman so is your entire family just  
like conspiracy theorists or

12:54 AM • 11/18/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

922 retweets 100 Quote Tweets 4,269 Likes

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/18/18  
Replying to @juliajadek

yeah basically. i'm smarter though. abby  
doesn't even know how to hack properly,  
i have to help her

**swan lee** @iswanlee • 11/18/18  
Replying to @potatoman

should you really be admitting to illegal  
activities on here? 

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/18/18  
Replying to @iswanlee

what are they going to do, arrest me?

**swan lee** @iswanlee • 11/18/18  
Replying to @potatoman

uhhh

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/18/18  
Replying to @iswanlee

i'll just pull an uno reverse on them.

**swan lee** @iswanlee • 11/18/18  
Replying to @potatoman

okay you know what? valid. i wish you all  
best.

* * *

**Carol ✔️** @caroldanverss

Thanks for getting me verified, everyone.  
My daughter tells me that it's a big deal.

7:25 AM • 11/18/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

407 retweets 208 Quote Tweets 1,835 Likes

**Tony Stark ✔️** @ironman • 11/18/18  
Replying to @caroldanverss

Woah woah woah. Full stop. You have a kid?

**Carol ✔️** @caroldanverss • 11/18/18  
Replying to @ironman

I do, her name is Monica. She lives in New  
Orleans with her mom.

**Pepper Potts ✔️** @PepperPotts • 11/18/18  
Replying to @caroldanverss

Bring her to the compound the next time  
you're on earth! We would love to meet  
her.

**Carol ✔️** @caroldanverss • 11/18/18  
Replying to @PepperPotts

Noted. Thanks, Pepper. Maybe I'll come by  
next week.

**martyna** @martynabitch • 11/18/18  
Replying to @caroldanverss

guys guys guys captain marvel might come  
to earth next week omg we're going to  
breathe the same air as her alsdjfsdjas

**rhiannon** @rhiconstantine • 11/18/18  
Replying to @martynabitch

why does that feel illegal lmao like none of  
us are good enough to share air with her

**martyna** @martynabitch • 11/18/18  
Replying to @rhiconstantine

now that you mention, it, you're right. let's  
just not breathe.

**rhiannon** @rhiconstantine • 11/18/18  
Replying to @martynabitch

excellent plan. i will do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 5:55 am, i just spent the last six hours studying, i haven't slept yet, and i don't even know if this chapter is funny anymore. deal with it ig.


	6. more evidence that tony stark is an alien

**potato man**  
@potatoman

this is a thor stan account first, conspiracy  
theory account second.

📍 thor's bed

69 following 301K followers

* * *

**kenneth brighton** @kenbright

@potatoman please tell us WHAT HAPPENED  
IN BUDAPEST THE SHIELD FILES DIDN'T  
HAVE ANYTHING ON IT

9:45 AM • 11/19/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

488 retweets 361 Quote Tweets 1,938 Likes

**kimi** @sleepdeprivedbubbletea • 11/19/18  
Replying to @kenbright

@potatoman YES TELL US

**we're all Mad here** @madelinemadmad • 11/19/18  
Replying to @kenbright

@potatoman

**captain 'murica** @steverogersmarryme • 11/19/18  
Replying to @kenbright

@potatoman

**Serina** @deathbyatractor • 11/19/18  
Replying to @kenbright

@potatoman

**Harry Styles.** **✔️** @Harry_Styles • 11/19/18  
Replying to @kenbright

@potatoman

**jordan haines** @jordannhainnes • 11/19/18  
Replying to @Harry_Styles

is that harry styles aslkjslfdak

**maya** @_its.peaches_ • 11/19/18  
Replying to @kenbright

@potatoman

**demonica** @demonica • 11/19/18  
Replying to @kenbright

@potatoman c'mon

* * *

**potato man** @potatoman

look guys. despite popular opinion, i do value  
my life, okay? if i tell you about budapest, nick  
fury might send the black widow after me, and  
i will not survive that encounter. i'm just a broke  
twink trying to survive college, i am not equipped  
to handle a trained assassin. i promise i'll tell you  
about it some day, but i can't rn.

11:01 AM • 11/19/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

477 retweets 162 Quote Tweets 1,818 Likes

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

how about i give you guys some more evidence  
on the tony stark is an alien theory instead?

**Tony Stark** ✔️ @ironman  
Replying to @potatoman

No.

**spideyy** ✔️ @spiderman  
Replying to @ironman

yes!!

* * *

**potato man** @potatoman

tony stark is actually an alien spy sent to  
infiltrate earth: a bonus thread

11:20 AM • 11/19/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

693 retweets 265 Quote Tweets 2,586 Likes

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

for this first bit, we have to think back to the  
beginning: the avengers initiative. the  
avengers initiative was thought of and  
founded by nick fury when carol danvers  
came to earth. he kept the project heavily  
under wraps and almost no one knew about it.  
there were a few exceptions though.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

phil coulson, maria hill, brock rumlow,  
natasha romanoff, and clint barton. now, one  
of those is not like the other. if you guessed  
brock rumlow, you're right. he was a hydra spy.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

when consulted about the initiative, he,  
surprisingly, was all for it, which would  
have been extremely strange if tony  
stark was not an alien spy, because a  
group of superheros under the control of  
their enemies would not have been good for  
hydra.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

so from that, we can only infer that tony stark  
was, in fact, an alien spy, and under control of  
hydra. they probably thought it would be easy  
to get the rest of the team under their control,  
too. obviously it didn't work because hydra is  
stupid.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

the second part of the evidence comes from  
tony stark's medical history. i'm not going to  
go too far into it because of privacy issues but  
this one time the avengers went on a mini  
mission to fight a monster from another  
dimension and tony got injured and he healed  
really weirdly.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

his damaged tissue cells just... disappeared?  
and they reappeared looking completely healed.  
cells don't just disappear completely and reappear  
again in five seconds, that's weird. not even cap's  
super healing works that way.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

the doctors ruled it out as a side affect from some  
of the mysterious goo he had encountered in the  
fight but none of the rest of the avengers had the  
same problem, only tony.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

in conclusion tony stark is definitely an alien,  
thanks for coming to my ted talk.

**Heather** @TheCityThatNeverWakesUp • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

How did you get Tony Stark's medical history  
lmfaoooo

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @TheCityThatNeverWakesUp

i plead the fifth.

**spideyy ✔️** @spiderman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

potato man is an icon and must be protected  
at all costs

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @spiderman

i am honored you think of me in that way,  
spidey.

**Natasha Romanoff** @natasharomanoff • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

I have to say, I'm quite impressed by the sheer  
amount of classified information you've managed  
to dig up, Potato Man.

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @natasharomanoff

oh god i'm hyperventilating does anyone here  
know cpr 

**Birb guy ✔️** @hawkeye • 11/19/18  
Replying to @natasharomanoff

She's right, most of this stuff is under top notch  
security. Hey kid... have you ever considered  
working for SHIELD?

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @hawkeye

WHAT?

**Natasha Romanoff** @natasharomanoff • 11/19/18  
Replying to @hawkeye

Clint, as you have been told many times before,  
you are NOT a recruiter for SHIELD, you have  
to stop taking in every single talented child  
you find

**Birb guy ✔️** @hawkeye • 11/19/18  
Replying to @natasharomanoff

Hey don't be a hater, you were one of those  
talented children

**Natasha Romanoff** @natasharomanoff • 11/19/18  
Replying to @hawkeye

Conversations like this make me wish you  
hadn't taken me in

**Birb guy ✔️** @hawkeye • 11/19/18  
Replying to @natasharomanoff

Deal with it. What do you say, Potato Man?

**Natasha Romanoff** @natasharomanoff • 11/19/18  
Replying to @hawkeye

Fury's going to be furious

**Birb guy ✔️** @hawkeye • 11/19/18  
Replying to @natasharomanoff

Ha! Fury... furious... get it?

**Natasha Romanoff** @natasharomanoff • 11/19/18  
Replying to @hawkeye

Oh my god I'm blocking you

**Birb guy ✔️** @hawkeye • 11/19/18  
Replying to @natasharomanoff

Her loss. Potato Man?

**potato man** @potatoman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @hawkeye

yes yes yes yes yes

**Birb guy ✔️** @hawkeye • 11/19/18  
Replying to @potatoman

Excellent, I'll come pick you up next week.  
  


* * *

**Amelie** @amelieisdead

Did we seriously just witness Hawkeye  
recruiting someone through Twitter or is  
my phone just glitching..?

2:18 PM • 11/19/18 • Twitter for StarkPhone

374 retweets 98 Quote Tweets 2,125 Likes

**tis i, rena** @fearlesslyrena • 11/19/18  
Replying to @amelieisdead

i'm lowkey hoping he'll recruit me too now  
lmfao

**deirdre wells** @dairywells • 11/19/18  
Replying to @amelieisdead

that was the weirdest recruitment i've ever  
seen

**spideyy** **✔️** @spiderman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @dairywells

oh trust me, there are much weirder  
recruitments. you're not a true avenger  
unless you have a weird recruitment  
story

**deirdre wells** @dairywells • 11/19/18  
Replying to @spiderman

omg sis spill

**spideyy** **✔️** @spiderman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @dairywells

well, in my case, tony stark came to my  
house, flirted with my aunt, went through  
my stuff, called me spider-boy, insulted  
my suit, and basically forced me to go to  
germany to fight captain america

**deirdre wells** @dairywells • 11/19/18  
Replying to @spiderman

I'M SORRY BUT SPIDER-BOY LSKFJLSDKS  
THAT'S SO UNNECESSARILY FUNNY

**Tony Stark ✔️** @ironman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @spiderman

I did not "force" you to go to Germany

**spideyy** **✔️** @spiderman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @ironman

yes you did

**Tony Stark ✔️** @ironman • 11/19/18  
Replying to @spiderman

There is a big difference between subtly   
reminding someone that I know their  
secret identity and forcing them to go  
to Germany. Get your facts straight,  
Spider-Boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanted to let everyone know that i read all of your comments, and every single one means the world to me! whether it's a long ass analysis or just a heart emoji, i treasure them like a dragon hoarding gold. i try to reply to all of them but i'm an awkward bitch so sometimes i don't know what to say lmao so don't take it personally if i haven't replied to yours. i love you all so much, thanks for reading!


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